What Your World Cup Wear Says About You

The World Cup is upon us, and the evidence is everywhere, even in places where it doesn’t belong. Overpriced World Cup scarves occupy shelf space in the seasonal goods aisle at the grocery store, right between the insect repellant and the yard waste bags. You can encase your cellphone in the glory of your favourite nation’s flag, or maybe you are a high-end fan who is willing to cough up $250,000 for a diamond studded official World Cup ring.

Let’s face it, while that’s not most of us, we can all proudly walk the streets of our neighbourhood in the colours of the squad we support. But when you’re out there styling in your Lionel Messi or Neymar Jr. jersey, what does this say about your own personal style?

Brazil

Like the pulsating music that permeates the nation, you are a unique combination of casual and chic, at ease with who you are. Bright colours and eccentric garb are all part of your repertoire. Your look is never dull, and it flows freely for all to see. You’ve got nothing to hide and you are going to let the world know it.

Germany

Businesslike. Conservative. Efficient. Orderly. These are all adjectives that easily affix to you. You never begin the day without a to-do list and go nowhere before consulting your daily planner. Organization is key, and it’s the same with what you wear. You view the world through a black and white lens, and this simplicity also impacts how you dress.

Sweden

The metrosexual look was created with you in mind. At the same time, you are often a contradiction in terms. You may drive a Volvo, shop at IKEA and listen to ABBA, but you can also be a rebel. Sport coat and dress pants? Absolutely. Matching tie? Absolutely not. The look of a sleek suit with a turtleneck was made for you, and you don’t mind accessorizing with the functionality of a backpack.

Russia

There is a conscious nonchalance about your clothing choices. You’re the kind of guy who always goes for the sensible shoes, who picks up a shirt off the floor, gives it a good whiff and if you don’t wince, figure it’s good for at least two more wears before laundering will be required.

Spain

You refuse to embrace any trend, but you will never give up your hold on sex appeal. You’ll don your favourite dress shirt and do up only the middle button, exposing your tanned sternum, but over top you might don a khaki vest as if a day’s hike was on the agenda. You can pull off an orange sport jacket without being mistaken for a Century 21 agent. Heck, you even look stylish in a parka.

England

Welcome John Austen, Jane Austen’s male counterpart. You’re all about sense and sensibility. all about sense and sensibility. Rocking soccer shoes with highstreet? Why not? You tuck your jeans into your boots on rainy days, because who wants wet cuffs? Casual is your comfort zone, and it’s immaterial what anyone else says – you look good in that tattered wool sweater, wrap around scarf and dungarees. And who cares what anyone else thinks – you know you’ll be warm when the bitter cold sweeps in, and to you, this is all that matters. Clothes shouldn’t make the man. Clothes should make the man warm.

Words by Bob Duff

Illustration by Robert John Paterson

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