How to Get Rid of Hat Head (And Avoid Looking Like the Office Dunce)

The fail-safe way to curtail the bane of every Canadian businessman’s appearance. 

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Do you know the only thing that’s worse than presenting to clients on a Monday morning? Looking like you just got noogied by your uncle Sven whilst doing so. And just because our weather can’t make up its mind during these transitional times, doesn’t mean you need to suffer. Here’s how to keep a warm head and look good.

With special thanks to Alex Berry, Master Barber at Garrison’s Barbershop

I. First off, if it’s not too late, buy a hat that won’t feel like a vice grip on your head. If you’re going for a knitted hat, don’t look past pieces made of soft wool, like merino or cashmere. And if you want a fitted baseball cap, try on some different brands. Two hat brands of the same size won’t always fit the same.

II. “The key is using a suitable, but manageable product before the toque goes on,” stresses Berry. “If you’ve got a short cut, towel dry your hair first, then style it with a tiny bit of Layrite’s natural matte cream.” Why Layrite? Simple—all of the American brand’s products are water soluble, which means it’ll wash off your hands fast with just a rinse when you’re restyling that thing.

III. “If you pick a hairstyle that’s sort of short and messy—and more textured—then you don’t have much to worry about here,” says Berry. “But if you’ve got a slightly longer style, like my side-part, try our Lanolin Booster Cream; it’s got a light hold, so it’ll keep your hairstyle in shape once your take off your hat, but keep in mind it won’t add a ton of volume.”

An Ingenious Anti-Hat Head Trick When You’re Late For Another Meeting: Again, if you’ve got a more classic style with a bit of length—like a tapered slick-back—bring a well-made pocket comb to work. “Run the comb under some hot water for a bit, then run it through your hair quick to reset everything,” says Berry. “After that, you should be good.”

 

Words by Leo Petaccia

Illustrations by Andrew Haviland

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